Michele Meyer, Founder and CEO of Journey Beyond A Holistic Center and Beyond Life Coaching LLC.
I was addicted to alcohol and drugs, unemployable, didn’t talk to family, and was in an emotionally, mentally and physically abusive relationship. I was codependent, had no identity, and made all my choices based on shame and fear. I was sexually abused between the ages of 4-10 by my father who was an angry alcoholic. He also abused me physically, mentally, emotionally and religiously. I operated from my complex PTSD and was highly dissociated, I suffered from major depression and had suicidal thoughts.
Alcohol made it possible for me to live in my own skin. Then alcohol stopped working for me and a few nights I drank until I was sober. My healing journey began, 32 years ago. May 19, 1989 is the day I got sober in Alcoholics Anonymous.
About nine months into sobriety I was dying emotionally and spiritually because of my codependency and I was having flashbacks of the sexual abuse constantly. I began therapy and started taking medication the following year. That sent me on a journey of uncovering, discovering and discarding. I began Al-Anon and Adult Children of Alcoholics. Combined with talk therapy and many other modalities of healing I began to understand myself. I began unpacking why I hated myself. I didn’t feel like I deserved to heal, I knew I was broken and the shame I felt was all consuming but something kept me going, day by day.
Trauma and shame kept me isolated and disconnected from others. Trauma, fear and shame told me I was different from others, no one would understand or believe me. It told me to never talk about my feelings, thoughts and what happened. It encouraged me to keep secrets. I had to unlearn all these beliefs and my journey was often messy.
Then one day I had another awakening. All the puzzle pieces came together and I felt healed. I felt my 5 bodies (physically, mentally, emotionally, spirituality and energetically) were together and breathing as one. I struggle to find words for that feeling, it was truly something I had to experience before I knew it was possible.
I have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. I have healed from childhood sexual abuse. For years I just hoped healing was possible. Personally, I’ve never talked to anyone who expressed being healed from their sexual trauma. Healing was just a concept I would read in a book or an encouragement from a therapist.
“Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worthwhile to us now. Cling to the thought that, in God’s hand, the dark past is the greatest possession you have – the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them.” Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous, pg 124.
I had no idea how I was going to be of service in that magnitude. I came up with some ideas,
then I heard the Universe say “Bigger.”
Today, I am a Recovery and Trauma Coach, my specialties include drug and alcohol addiction, codependency,
trauma and inner child work. I am also an Energy and Bodywork Therapist.
I know what alcoholism and drug addiction can do to a person, the debilitating impact of major depression, shame, fear and complex PTSD, how codependency can take over a life and how childhood trauma affects adulthood. I have lived it and healed from it. I will share with you my experience, strength, hope, my education and my healing.